For Love of the Word

I have been taking an online seminary class this Fall on Systematic Theology. Most people could think of nothing more boring and pointless, but my mind works on the opposite stream. I find it fascinating, thought provoking, and most importantly it is stirring my affections for Christ and making me ask a lot of questions about myself. The question that continues to press on my heart and mind is this, "Do I really love the Scriptures." 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." Over the last few weeks these words have haunted me. We aren't talking about some random author who decided to put pen to paper and spill his thoughts. The God who created the world, holds  it together,and  intervened to bring salvation has spoken to us through the words of our sacred Scriptures. How can I not run to them every day several times a day. Instead I find myself browsing Barnes & Noble or searching Amazon.com for the next great book. 

In one of my class lectures my professor stated that he thinks most Christians don't truly believe the words of 2 Timothy. If we really believed them then we would be running to the Bible more than anywhere else. I must sadly confess this attitude of unbelief usually resides in my heart. I am begging Jesus to change me. I am asking Him to put in me a burning passion for His Word. Because Psalm 19:7 says, "The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul..."

Trees, Fruit and Seasons

So for the last few weeks I have been reading Psalm 1 (it is actually a requirement for a seminary class I am taking. has there ever been a better homework assignment than to read the Word?!) In the Psalm is says a man is blessed if he meditates on the Law of God. Then it illustrates how the blessing turns out. It says, "he is like a tree that is planted by streams of water that yields it's fruit in season." Those last 3 words have really made me think over the last week or so. In my life as an Outdoor Education teacher I used to tell kids about trees and how most trees had a growing time and a dormant period. Which means that only during certain times of the year is a tree actually able to yield fruit. The rest of the year it is impossible for the tree to yield its fruit. That doesn't mean the rest of the year is a waste for the tree. In fact it needs these times in order to be able to bear fruit every year. So why have I been thinking about all of this. 

Well, Jesus makes a point in John 15 to tell his disciples about fruit bearing. And it doesn't stop in John, the Bible is full of analogies that refer us back to the bearing of fruit. In the passage in John Jesus urges his disciples to abide in him in order to bear fruit. In Psalm 1 it tells us a righteous and blessed man yields fruit in season. Which means there are times where we will not be bearing fruit. But that does not mean I still don't abide in the vine. See a branch of a tree has no say in the bearing of fruit. The only job it has is to stay connected to the roots of the tree. As a believer really have no say in when I bear fruit. My only job is to stay connected to the vine/root which is Christ. And just like God the Father will decide when the tree will bear fruit the same goes for me and my life. And, according to Jesus, bearing fruit is what brings glory to God. So I am called to abide and to meditate on the Word and leave growing and bearing up to Him. 

God opposes the proud

"Don't pray for humility because then God will send things in your life to make you humble." These are words I have heard pastors, teachers, and even myself say to believers many times. It is typically said with some kind of laughter or joking laid into it, but I tend to find the things I joke about and am sarcastic about are really the things I am most serious about. So people who have said this, somewhere in their hearts believe this to be true. 

This morning God dropped an eternal weight on me dealing with humility and how lightly we treat it. I have just begun reading in the book of Isaiah. And in the second chapter of the book God says this through His prophet,

"The haughty looks of man shall be brought low, and the lofty pride of men shall be humbled, and the Lord alone will be exalted in that day."

He will also make similar statements two other times in the chapter. These verses led me to turn to James and 1 Peter where they say, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." As I thought about those words I became mortified at myself. I don't take pride and humility with enough seriousness. God opposes the proud. I am still young, but I have lived enough of life to know I don't want God in opposition of me. Instead, I want grace. And I came to realize that I want it so badly that I would take all the humiliating circumstances God brings my way to get it. How dare I ever tell someone not to pray for humility. How dare I tell someone not to pray for the grace of God in their life. I realized every time I have made that statement it has been out of pride. Because the humbling circumstances make me look bad. That is pride and when I read Scripture it says God is standing in opposition to that, which means he is standing in opposition to me.

But, if I pray for humility you know what I get? There may be humbling circumstances and difficulties to face, but in all of that I get grace. And Ephesians says that grace will reflect the infinite glory of God in my life. So this morning I prayed two things:

1) For forgiveness for ever telling people to stand in opposition of God. (The realization I had done this absolutely devastated me, but praise Christ for grace)

2) I prayed for humility. I don't know what it will look like or how it will come but I am positive as God begins to cultivate it in my life grace will abound more and more. And I can't think of anything more I long for.

The day I don't matter!!

This is the first time I have posted anything on this blog. This may be the last time I post anything on here, too. I am not opposed to blogging, obviously. Most of the time I just can't think of anything to say. So since this could be the one an only, here we go.

The title of this blog is basically what I am striving for. I have spent the last year in a painful, beautiful, and all around interesting place spiritually (I hate using that word because I don't think life should be compartmentalized in to sacred and secular, but I can't think of a better word). I was thinking about it the other day and the best way I can describe it is like drinking from a fire hose. I feel like God has poured Himself out in my life in some vary astounding ways and I have loved drinking it all in. The scary part of all of this is that some times the water is coming so fast and in such great quantities that it feels like I'm drowning and I don't know how to turn in off. Not to mention the fact, that if I turn it off I don't know if I can turn it back on again.

Through all of this here is what I have come to realize. I use the word I too much. God has been showing me that all of the things that happen in this life are really about Jesus. I think if you asked most people they would say this in principle, but don't truly live life with this view. But if you read the Bible (which is all about Jesus, by the way, and when I say all I truly mean all. Every word in the Old Testament and New Testament are about Jesus) it seems to point to the ultimate reality where Jesus is before all things, in all things, and all things are held together because of Him. That means I breathe today because of Him, I eat today not because I made the food or made the money to buy the food, but because Jesus gives me food to eat. I make money because He gave me a job and gave me the capacity to think and reason. So if all that is true then all of the stuff I do in life isn't about me. Instead, it is about Him and His glory and His renown. 

This truth has brought a heavy and abiding weight to my soul. Mainly because 90% of my day is spent thinking about myself and what is good for me. 9.9% is spent thinking somewhat about other people and their feelings. I may actually squeeze Jesus into about .1% of my day, and those are the good days. But I will continue to fight and continue to struggle. Because Paul said in Galatians that the desires of the Spirit and the desires of the flesh are in complete opposition. He goes on to say that the Spirit can overcome the flesh. It is for that day I long, hope, fight, struggle and persevere. All for the day that I don't matter.